Adventures of the Outsiders #35

This time around I found a comic relevant to the recent attention white nationalists have been getting in the United States. It’s oddly poignant as well as just being weird and goofy, but also at times extremely dark. It is DC’s Adventures of the Outsiders #35 from July 1986.

Negative Hitler is not pleased.

This comic used to be called Batman and the Outsiders, but the team and Batman had a falling out, and Batsy’s name was taken off the title. I guess he didn’t approve of their methods because they straight-up murder people, including (in this book) one beheading. The team consists of Metamorpho, Black Lightning, Halo, Katana, and three more heroes I’ve never heard of before now, Windfall, Geo-Force, and Looker. Looker is probably one of the worst superhero names I’ve ever heard.

What is This About?

The madness begins with the cover. The titular heroes do battle with their rival super villain team, the Masters of Disaster, who I have also never heard of. The Masters of Disaster are New-Wave, Heatstroke, Coldsnap, and a musclebound guy who is not called by name in this issue. I had to google him. His name is Shakedown. Right. Coldsnap and Heatstroke look like typical 80’s superhero d-bag versions of Scott Summers and Jean Grey. New-wave looks like a sexed-up version of Killer Frost complete with plunging neckline that rivals Black Lighning’s

Look at these assholes.

Anyways, hovering above the melee is the ghostly apparition of a certain dictator from a certain world war with a certain unmistakable toothbrush mustache. As if that wasn’t enough, the subtitle next to him shouts “Sympathy for the Fuhrer!” Now I need to know what’s going on inside this comic.

On page pne, the Outsiders appear to be regrouping after a fight. They are in a made-up communist bloc country called Markovia. It looks bleak and war-ravaged, as do the Outsiders. Looker is carrying busted pieces of Metamorpho in a bundle. You can see his leg hanging out, and it’s kind of disturbing. They find Halo who is imprisoned in an improvised cell which is really just a hole in the ground. Geo-Force busts her out. She welcomes Windfall who has just joined the team while Black Lightning heals the dismembered Metamorpho by… electrocuting him? Metamorpho seems really into it, so why not?

What the...?

The team dynamic seems a bit strained here, as Looker casually reads Halo’s mind, which is kind of rude, I guess. Even Professor X doesn’t do that shit, and he’s an asshole. Halo boxes her ears for it. Then Katana talks Halo down from her outburst while Looker and Windfall make bitchy faces at each other. Poor Looker. Katana explains to Halo that because Looker has a new gorgeous body, she will have a hard time adjusting to how people treat her. You know how women are. Right? Right? Ohhh, I get it. Looker cause she is hot, right? She's a "looker". Still the worst name ever.

ESPECIALLY women...

The reunited team takes flight and Halo makes a point to fly next to Looker and make nice while Windfall keeps being bitchy. Pretty girls have it so hard don’t they?

I Did Nazi That Coming

A stone-faced Adolph Hitler watches black and white films of concentration camps while a young girl serves him his lunch. Just outside the room Baron Bedlam sits at his desk in front of a swastika banner. He and his cronies discuss their maniacal scheming with thick German accents. It seems they cloned Hitler, and now they have to educate him about who the original Hitler was. There is a nature vs nurture argument in here somewhere I think, but holy hell look at Baron Bedlam.

The Baron dresses in all red with yellow trim. He even wears bright red jodhpurs fastened with a yellow belt with a swastika buckle. His hair is the same shade of red with white streaks. I want the heroes to kill him just so I don’t have to look at him anymore.

I wonder if that huge shield will come in handy later.

Anyway, he has King Gregor of Markovia locked in a cell awaiting execution so they can set their new Nazi regime in place there. Also King Gregor is Geo-Force’s brother so there’s that. Bedlam chews out the Masters of Disaster for not defeating the Outsiders already before retrieving his secret weapon, a “proton cloud generator”. I guess it was Hitler’s before, because it has a swastika on it too. They just can’t get enough of that shit.

Before we get back to the Outsiders, something weird happens. Hitler clone starts choking on his lunch, and his little Jewish serving girl (yes, they made a point to say she wears a star of David and is Jewish) saves his life. This seemed like a strange thing to include, but it might make more sense later. But probably not. This is fucked up that they are basically brainwashing a blank slate Hitler clone by showing him concentration camp footage, and then parading a little girl with a star of David pendant in front of him like dangling a rat in front of a snake. What do they expect to happen? Is he supposed to eat her?

Clones are so ungrateful.

The Action Intensifies

The next several pages are all action. The Outsiders free the portion of the Markovian army still loyal to their King. Black Lightning electrocutes some guys, but they might not be dead, but they probably are. Then they rally the troops to storm the castle. King Gregor faces down Bedlam’s firing squad, but before they can do the deed, the Outsiders come blazing in with the Markovian army. Looker hypnotizes two guards into shooting each other dead. Cool. Then the Masters of Disaster enter the fray.

Back in the castle, Hitler 2 is watching his concentration camp films when he notices the star of David on the Jews in the film matches the one on his savior/waitress. He grabs a gun and there is a bang. Oh shit. What happened? He didn’t just-- Did he?

But there’s a fight scene to finish. New-Wave and Windfall I guess are sisters, and they fight. Halo comes to the rescue. Katana (who is all in yellow and red and is way less emo than nowadays) takes down the hulking brute Shakedown by hilariously chasing him around with swords like a cartoon. I think she killed a dude off-panel somewhere if the big red "SHAKKKT" is to be understood correctly. There is definitely some tonal dissonance going on here. Looker and Black Lightning have made quick work of Heatstroke and Coldsnap apparently, because they are down. Thanks for not showing us that because chances are it was both hilarious and brutal.

Geo-Force, being from Markovia and the king’s brother, goes straight for Bedlam. Bedlam uses his magic Nazi device on him, but he escapes with relative ease. I guess having the swastika on it didn’t make it strong enough.

Then the weirdest thing in the comic happens. Geo-Force wrestles Bedlam’s gun away from him and then gives it right back with one bullet left. He makes some out-of-nowhere assumption that the Baron will use that last bullet to kill himself? Then Geo-Force turns his back on Bedlam, and Bedlam shoots him in the back. How did he not see that coming? Luckily Bedlam is a terrible shot and just wings him in the shoulder from like twenty feet away. He should be dead. What the actual fuck?

No joke, I had to read this like five times to figure out what happened.

Anyway, Geo-Force grabs a huge decorative Nazi plate off the wall and slings it at Bedlam Captain America style, cutting the Baron’s head clean off. That was intense. The superteam convene in the castle where to their astonishment they find the body of Adolf Hitler. Evidently the Hitler clone couldn’t even handle how fucking terrible Nazis are and he shot himself in the head. Black Lightning opines that if Hitler’s clone can make the right choice and SHOOT HIMSELF IN THE FUCKING HEAD then maybe there is hope for humanity. That’s it. That’s the end.

What Did I Just Read?

I’m baffled. What started out as a fun jaunty team book with some casual sexism turned fucking dark. What is the message here? I think that the message is that Nazis are so evil that even Hitler can’t take it. That if, as a Nazi, you are handed a gun with one bullet left, you should do the “right thing” and use it on yourself. That’s what Black Lightning pretty much says.

I’m not sure what to think about Hitler Clone. He was given the Heimlich maneuver by a Jewish girl, saving his life even as he watched propaganda films. When his cloning-addled brain finally put two-and-two together, he couldn’t take it and committed suicide. That seems pretty selfish to me. You’re Hitler, and you’ve realized the error of your ways. Wouldn’t you then want to get out and start telling people? Wouldn’t you want some kind of redemption however small it may be? Wouldn’t you want to own up to your evil and denounce it lest others follow your footsteps? I don’t know. There aren’t enough pages for that. I guess Hitler being dead again is alright.

I can see why Batman left these guys. They are pretty casual about killing and about death in general, and they have some pretty archaic opinions about femininity. But whatever, their costumes are all bright colored and they have cool whizzy powers, and that’s all you really need, right? It’s the 80s!

Adventures of the Outsiders #35 - July 1986

Mike W. Barr - Writer/Editor

Alan Davis and Paul Neary - Artists

John Workman - Letterer

Adrienne Roy - Colorist

Images Courtesy of DC Comics